U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize