i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
