guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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