i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
