Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize