How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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