The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
PS: I just woke up from my shower
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
