I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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