called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
lol hangovers are for mortals.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
