ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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