Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
