LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
