i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
