Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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