On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
