Are we in a gay sports bar?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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