I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
