i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm passing your future prison.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize