Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
