His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
