I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
