No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
