Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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