Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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