This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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