how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize