I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
