she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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