i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
