do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
