YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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