im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
