She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Soap is not a condiment
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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