so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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