yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
