I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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