like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
