Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
