So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
