Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
