Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
