I'm jealous of your bromance
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
