Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
