Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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