she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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