Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have tasted many bathrooms
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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