This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we're making bets on your personal life
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
