ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
