just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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