the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
