Don't make out with my wife yet
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
