Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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