using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
