I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
even my farts smell like vagina
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
