He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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