Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
