All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
