Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize