this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
