Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize