SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
