It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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