i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
