Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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