I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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