Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
