doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
