You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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