You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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