Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize