How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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