oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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