Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
