i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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