What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
