Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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