Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
