I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
