And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
