I want to walk on stilts...naked
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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