The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
